Finding Meaningful Love Online

Is your Happily Ever After Hiding on the Internet?? ❤

Do you ever wonder if online dating is for you? Do you think it is possible to find lasting love on the internet? Do you know where to start or if you even want to navigate those sometimes choppy waters and difficult, uncomfortable situations that can occur? Are you brave?

After my 20+ year marriage failed, I asked myself those very questions. Now you see, I wasn’t particularly keen on getting into another relationship at all. I had been to that rodeo and had been unceremoniously bucked off the horse. Twice! I was pretty darn sure that I wasn’t at all interested in getting back in that saddle again. The last years of my marriage had been extremely trying and difficult and I was thrilled and relieved to finally be alone to heal and learn how to live with and love myself once more . I enjoyed my own company and my freedom. I was content and happy with my life.

After my youngest child went away to college, all my kids thought it was time for Mom to “get a life.” I have 2 sons and a daughter and they are the best things that have ever happened to me. As so many mothers do, I had devoted myself almost exclusively to them and to the grandchildren who were starting to join the family. They loved me and worried about me and didn’t want me to be alone. I was, if I am being honest, a bit adrift and at loose ends with all of them out of the house. Seemed like a good time to think about dipping my toes into the waters of online dating, if for no other reason than a little bit of fun and a little something to fill my time. I am here to tell you, IT WAS THE BEST THING I EVER DID! Turns out, my happily ever after was, indeed, hiding on the internet. 💖

Finding love online can be a dream come true but I am here to tell you that it won’t happen overnight (at least not for most), it isn’t always fun and can be quite frustrating. It can also be thrilling at times. In short, it is a rollercoaster. But, I can highly recommend jumping in the coaster car, fastening your seat belt and enjoying the ride! My story evolved over several years. There were times when I was really invested in finding a match and times that I didn’t look at any of the sites for months on end. As it turns out, when I found my happily ever after, I had not been on the sites for probably six months or more and decided to take one last look before I closed my profiles. There he was! He seemed kind, intelligent, interesting and could carry on a great conversation, not to mention, I thought he was adorable.❤ We texted back and forth for quite some time before we decided to meet in person. Covid was just coming to an end so I took a leap of faith and decided we could meet at my home instead of a public place (which is preferable). I was very comfortable with him at this point. That meeting was great, we talked, ate, had a couple beers and got to know each other just a bit. The rest as they say, is history. That was 4 years ago this past February and we were married in September. He is the best man I know.

Now, this is not to say that I didn’t encounter some interesting characters along the way. I kissed a couple toads to be sure. I even had one individual that seemed a bit promising at first but turned out to be a “would be” scammer. More on that in a bit. I talked with one gentleman for probably a year who was a farmer on the other side of the state. Nice guy, but I finally decided that he didn’t own a vehicle that could make the trip to come for a meeting. Next. Several guys who I went out with a couple times had a hard time picking up the check. I am the first one to believe that in any relationship both partners should contribute financially, however, call me old fashioned but let’s be honest ladies, would that really impress you on a first date? In those situations, I paid my share and happily moved on. There were a couple who were looking for someone to take care of them. No thanks. It was my turn to be taken care of for a change. And then there was one who was special, who I spent several months with. I liked him, enjoyed his company and we had a lot of fun together. The deal breaker there was that he told me that he was interested in dating me but not my family. Anyone who wants to be with me has to embrace my kids, grandkids and my entire family. That just didn’t work for me. Moving along….. Perhaps the funniest thing I experienced was when a highly respected site matched me with my own uncle!! We all had great fun with that!

You know, the real beauty in online dating, or any other kind of dating for that matter is that you have choices. You don’t have to settle for anything you are uncomfortable with or any behavior, traits or attitudes you don’t like . It’s up to you who you choose to have a relationship with, not anybody else!! Never, ever settle. It is so not worth it!

Time for some practical advice. Some things I have learned along the way:

Best Overall Dating Sites:

• EHarmony.com
• Zoosk.com (This is where my Happily Ever After was Hiding!)
• Match.com

Best Sites for Seniors:

• DateMyAge.com
• OurTime.com
• SilverSingles.com

Best Site For Single Parents:

• Stir.com

Best Sites For Young Adults:

• Hinge.com
• Dating.com
• Match.com
• EHarmony.com

Best Christian Site:

• ChristianMingle.com

I want to talk about things I don’t recommend now. I don’t recommend the swiping sites such as Tinder if you are serious about finding a relationship. I know there are success stories from these sites but they tend to be more about quick hook ups than they are about lasting relationships. You want the people you match with to be as serious about finding love as you are.

I also do not recommend the free sites such as Plenty of Fish if you are truly looking for the one. When deciding whether or not to use a free site, decide just how serious you are about finding a relationship. If you are not ready to settle down and just want to test the waters, you may benefit from a free site. If you are serious about matching with the right person, the cost of the subscription is well worth it as other subscribers have the same commitment and motivation to find their special someone. Remember, most sites have a free or introductory option but you will have limited accessibility and limited use of certain features that will hinder your ability to make a match.

Your Profile:

After you have taken some time and selected a site or sites that you wish to put your profile on, it is time to get it ready. Your profile is the first thing any potential match will see and you want to make a great first impression.

• Think about what you really want in a match and be very clear about it in your profile.
• Post clear, flattering CURRENT photos . Use photos that show some of your interests and hobbies.
• Include at least 1 full body shot. Honesty is key and if you meet someone you want to date, they will see the real you anyway so it does no good to post deceiving pictures. Honesty at all costs!!! You might not think you look perfect but someone will think you are perfect for them!
• Post what you have to offer in a relationship. Mention your best qualities and strengths. Keep it short and be sincere.
• Write a short bio, but keep the information reasonably generic. You never want to reveal personal information in a profile. It could invite scammers. There will be plenty of time for that later when you match with someone and begin getting to know one another.
• Be honest about everything! I cannot stress this enough! If a relationship develops, your deceit will be uncovered and may very well ruin a potentially good match. Be proud of who you are! Be confident! Those qualities will shine thru in your profile!

Avoiding Fake Dating Profiles and Potential Scammers:

If the profile looks to good to be true, it probably is. In recent years, dating scams have cost victims millions of dollars and the loss of sensitive personal and financial information. This can cause untold problems for the victims for years to come. Scammers often use fake profiles and photos to lure you in. They may begin asking you for money or personal information. A scammer will often appear to get serious about a relationship with you and declare his love and devotion much sooner than is appropriate.

Block them and run at the first hint of any of this behavior!

Common Red Flags:

• Being asked for money for any reason
• Being told a story of financial loss or personal hardship
• Vague answers to questions about their life and day to day activities
• Always having an excuse not to video chat or meet in person
• Not being able to find any information about them online. Call me paranoid, but I always used an online people finder and a reverse photo image search for people I was interested in.

I know online dating can be overwhelming. But it doesn’t have to be . I will never be sorry that I took the plunge!!

Take it one step at a time and enjoy the process. Stay safe, stay honest and always always stay true to yourself and who you are. Who knows, your Happily Ever After might be just a few clicks away!!

Happy Dating and May You Find Love!

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