Surviving Job Loss YOUR WAY!

From Job Loss To Blog Boss–Embracing My 2nd Act

Losing a job is one of the most devastating experiences many people face. It is, in fact, on the list of the most stressful things we can face in life. It feels like a punch in the gut and leaves you feeling scared, out of control and unsure of how to move forward. Whether it is a result of downsizing, company closure or poor performance the emotional toll is often overwhelming. Even though it causes immediate and unexpected financial issues, the emotional and personal effects can be longer lasting and very difficult to overcome.

I will be the first to admit that this experience has hit me harder than I could have ever imagined.

I was not even remotely prepared for how hard this layoff would be for me. I felt helpless, useless, insecure and completely lost. I had no place to go when I got up in the morning and my days, seemingly, held no purpose.

The day I lost my job was a Wednesday just like any other Wednesday, or so I thought. I had been happily married to my wonderful new husband for just 10 days and the possibilities for the future seemed endless. My particular situation was due to company closure and if I were being honest with myself, I should have seen it coming. There had been red flags and things happening within the business that shouldn’t have been happening for quite some time. I even had warnings from supervisors. I had been around long enough to know something was very wrong.

I had spent almost 10 years with this company and had never worked anywhere where I felt more appreciated and secure than I did there….for the first several years. Over time, the culture changed and the workplace gradually became unrecognizable. However, during that time, I never lost faith that management would correct the problems they faced and that we would remain a viable and secure workplace. After all, that is what we were told on a regular basis. I even held out hope that they would right the ship and return to a culture where even those lowest on the totem pole would be recognized and appreciated again. They had always taken care of us and I trusted them. My trust turned out to be highly misplaced.

I had made priceless connections with people and lifelong friendships. It was so much more than just a job. It was part of who I was. Even though it had become a very different place to work, I cannot express enough how much I appreciated and valued my job. I was due to retire in a little over a year. I had things well in hand. So when we were summoned to a Zoom meeting with very little notice and were told to turn in our badges and keys and vacate the premises, it was a shock and a huge betrayal of trust. The owner of the company didn’t even face us, he said goodbye in an e-mail. Add disappointment in a man that I had so respected and admired to the growing list of my hard to handle emotions.

That is my story and it brings me to what we all need to do to survive and even thrive when a job loss happens. The very first thing I want to express is that this is YOUR EXPERIENCE! You have the right to walk through it in a way that meets your needs, NOT anybody else’s. It is not you spouse’s experience, nor your children’s, your family’s, your friend’s or even your co-worker’s. It is yours and you need to nurture yourself, grieve and heal in a way that seems right for you. These people all love you and want to help. Let them love on you, commiserate with you and offer and give help where they can. But you stay true to you!

It is important to acknowledge your emotions. Allow yourself to grieve, be sad, be angry, feel betrayed, worried and anxious. Process these feelings, don’t bury them. Turn to someone you trust and even seek professional help if your feelings become overwhelming or unmanageable.

Establish a routine and maintain some sort of schedule. Take care of yourself, your appearance, your personal needs and eat well. Spend time really thinking about what you would like your next steps to look like. Is there something you have always wanted to do? Spend time job searching and updating your resume. Don’t forget to spend some time doing things that bring you joy. Explore new interests, hobbies or catch up on your reading. You likely haven’t had much time for those things in the past.

Stay active. This can be a tough one. There will be times when all you want to do is sit in a chair and stare at the wall. Resist the urge to do that. Try and get out and get some sunshine and physical activity everyday. I put an exercise bike and a treadmill right in the middle of my living room….sometimes it works and sometimes I walk right past it, but that is a subject for another day! Physical activity is very important in keeping depression and anxiety under control and manageable.

Don’t isolate yourself. I can tell you there will be days when you want to do just that and it is OK to do it when it is absolutely needed, but don’t let it become the norm. Reach out to friends and family, make plans to get together with friends, schedule family time and make plans for outings with your significant other. Pick up the phone and talk to someone you trust and is empathetic to your situation. Sometimes just getting dressed and getting out of the house to wander thrift stores or your favorite shopping spots can do wonders for your outlook. Remember, there is still life outside of your 4 walls.

Work on personal growth. Now is the time to invest in yourself, learn new skills, take online courses or maybe take a leap of faith and do something you have always wanted to do. This will help you stay positive and involved in something worthwhile so you are not dwelling on your situation. For me, that something was starting a blog.

I remember the day my situation hit me so hard it took my breath away. I had been unemployed about 4 months. I looked into my immediate future, it was blank. My days were filled with the usual activities such as cleaning, laundry, cooking etc., however there was nothing else and I was filled with panic. The job search was difficult. I knew I had to quickly find something to fill my time. My anxiety was getting out of control and I felt unwell most of the time. I remembered the pleasure I used to get from writing and had even made a half hearted attempt at blogging several years ago, it was something I had always wanted to do and I realized that I now had the time, energy and life experiences to devote to it and Mrs. Hovland Blogs was born. My goal is to reach out, helping where I can, sharing ideas and stories, encouraging creativity and writing on a variety of topics.

A very special Thank You to my husband Rod who has weathered this storm with me and who has been my rock. Thankfully he has been very supportive and helped to keep me tethered and my feet firmly planted in reality. Another big Thank You to my wonderful son-in-law Taylor who has been invaluable when it comes to all the technical aspects of starting a blog. It is good to have a computer guy in your corner and he is the best!

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