How to Cope With Anxiety & Overthinking Even When Everything is Good: And Why This Happens

Even when everything in your life is going well, you are happy, your relationships are good and nothing is “wrong”- overwhelming feelings of anxiety can still creep in to mess up your good time. This can be very unwelcome and overwhelming to say the least. If you ask yourself why you feel like this when everything is fine, you are certainly not alone. Anxiety and overwhelming feelings don’t necessarily need a reason to show up. It is important to always remember that anxiety is physiological as well as psychological, so like the common cold or an upset tummy or any other physiological malady it too can manifest itself for no obvious reason. Let’s take a look at some of the hidden causes of anxiety on good days and help you cope when your feelings and emotions don’t match your circumstances.

Reasons Why Anxiety and Overwhelming Feelings Show Up Even When Life is Good

If you struggle with these particular issues, chances are it has been going on for a very long time. For me, it started when I was a child and I did not feel safe in the world. All the news about wars and possible invasions (the Russians) and communism scared me to death. This was exacerbated by some adults in my family who, indeed, seemed consumed by these topics and talked non-stop about them. It should never have been discussed as much as it was around children. As a result, I became a very anxious child. I can still remember laying in my bed at night listening for the boots of marching soldiers coming to invade our country, destroy our churches and harm our people. As a young adolescent, I encountered the genesis of my health specific anxiety when I came across a comic book that had a character who found a lump under her arm on her wedding day and it did not end well. I can still see that comic book in my mind. Damnit! If I had a dime for every time I have checked myself for anything unusual, lumps, spots, what have you or a dollar for sleepless nights, physical illness and unrelenting crying jags when approaching a Doctor’s appointment, I would not need to be trying so darn hard to become a successful blogger! My anxiety continued to manifest itself and get more difficult as I got older, coming to a head when my youngest was in kindergarten. I continued to feel unsafe and insecure in the world as a result of 2 failed marriages where I had to shoulder all the responsibilities, handle all the finances and make all the decisions in the households. When you couple less than ideal environmental situations with a physical predisposition to anxiety and depression it is nothing short of a perfect storm. If you get out of bed and handle this on a daily basis, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! I will forever be proud of how I managed to work, run my household, live a successful life and take good care of my children while dealing with this disease.

I just thought I would share a bit of my background, hopefully some of you can relate and maybe it will help a little. There are some biological factors that can trigger anxiety when life is good such as chronic nervous system dysregulation which manifests itself over time. When you have suffered from anxiety and overwhelming thoughts for a long time you can have what is referred to as a chronic stress hangover. You can have so much pent up stress and anxiety that it can rear it’s ugly head at most anytime for no apparent reason. It can be sudden, powerful and unrelenting. I’m so sorry.

Even in calm, happy periods , generalized anxiety disorder or GAD can make your brain search for threats or create problems that do not exist. The absence of chaos can feel unfamiliar and unsafe. If you have lived with an anxiety disorder for a very long time, your nervous system may very well be stuck in a fight or flight mode. Calm is foreign and uncomfortable. Your brain is wired to scan for threats so even in good times it may still be searching for problems to solve. Anxiety sufferers who are doing well feel a lot of pressure to maintain that success. That pressure fuels anxiety and overthinking even when everything is technically fine.

Never forget that there is a strong physiological piece to this life experience. YOU CAN’T HELP IT OR CONTROL IT, BUT YOU MUST LEARN TO MANAGE IT. If you have a great need for order, a schedule you can count on, clean, well organized living spaces and general surroundings. If you have little to no tolerance for chaos, tardiness and if you cannot abide a lack of a sense of urgency , it is probably not about any of that at all. It is simply how your brain is wired. Former traumatic experiences or uncomfortable living situations only serve to exacerbate the chemical imbalance and wacky wiring in your brain. Give yourself grace, it is not your fault!

What You Can Do To Take Good Care of Yourself. If Anyone Deserves it You Do!

First of all, don’t blame yourself and DO NOT allow anyone else to blame you either. If you are living with this, one thing I know for sure, is that you are showing up for yourself and your loved ones every day in the very best way you know how! If you are around people who think it is all in your head, that you are weak or that you should just get over it or even worse, think you are ungrateful for and undeserving of the life you have that is currently going well because you still suffer from anxiety…you seriously need to rethink those relationships. They have no place in the nurturing, healing and understanding environment you must create for yourself.

Seek professional help!!! I cannot say this enough. There is absolutely NO SHAME whatsoever in seeing a medical professional to explore the possibilities of medications that can help. They have been lifesavers for me and I am not one bit embarrassed or ashamed to say that I need a little help in this area. Would you be ashamed or embarrassed to take meds for high blood pressure or diabetes for example? There is no difference, a physical disorder is a physical disorder! By all means, also seek therapy if you can afford it. Sadly, this is not covered by all insurance plans but if there is any way you can swing it, go for it.

Understand your triggers. For me, my biggest trigger is when I see too many things in front of me that I need to do, prepare for, plan for or simply lots of life stuff to get done. I am very well aware that they are usually happy, joyful, normal things that I am grateful for but that does not lessen the mental distress. Be very patient with yourself. Take a Break. Slow down a little and work on understanding that it will all get done, one task at a time. Remind yourself that you have felt this way before and you always get everything done and things turn out great!

Have someone to talk to. Someone who will really listen and have true, loving empathy for what you are going thru. Sometimes you don’t even need to talk, you just need someone who will simply be with you. If you are having a particularly rough anxiety attack, you should try not to be alone. Your companion, however, does have to be patient, loving, empathetic and possess a basic understanding of what you need. This is your responsibility, your person will not know how to help you unless you teach them. Separate yourself from people in your life who cause you stress, who cause you to be uncomfortable, who are insensitive to your feelings or make you feel less than. If you don’t prioritize top tier self care for yourself, nobody else is going to. Understand who deserves a seat at your table and who should never sit there again.

Handle yourself gently when you are really having an off day. Nobody wants to spend a day doing nothing, vegging out in front of the TV or sleeping too much but sometimes it is necessary. I always have so much I want to accomplish in a day that I have a really hard time allowing myself the necessary break that is sorely needed from time to time. It is much better to sacrifice the productivity of one day so you can have a better day the next day than it is to allow yourself to spiral until things get worse than they need to. It will be so much harder to recover. Do some journaling, take a warm bath, take a walk, nourish yourself with good food, watch a favorite TV show, read a good book, visit with an empathetic friend you trust. Just take the day!

So, after sharing all that, I want you to know that I, like so very many of you live a full, happy life with lots of fun and adventures. I have a great husband, wonderful kids and grandkids and many more beloved family members. Overthinking and anxiety does not define me, it is simply a part of me that deserves my attention. It needs to be a priority for me and anyone else who lives this reality. You may never completely get rid of your stress and anxiety, but you can learn to manage it like a Boss!! I hope you all got a little wisdom from my words and experiences and I hope everybody takes very good care of themselves! 💙 You deserve the best! And remember, when you have a bad time, you have gotten through it before, you will get through it again. 😊

I have linked a couple of good journals for anxiety & depression below in case that is something that you may be interested in that may help you. There are so many available, you should take a look

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. No additional cost to you. 😊

Worry for Nothing: Guided Anxiety Journal, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Mental Health Journal, Anxiety Relief & Self Care, Journal for Men & Womenhttps://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1792339496?smid=A1A4NDZDRX3EWC&psc=1&linkCode=ll1&tag=mrshovland64-20&linkId=ef112cab4abec614ed20f056083bcc93&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tlhttps://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1792339496?smid=A1A4NDZDRX3EWC&psc=1&linkCode=ll1&tag=mrshovland64-20&linkId=ef112cab4abec614ed20f056083bcc93&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl

No Worries: A Guided Journal to Help You Calm Anxiety, Relieve Stress, and Practice Positive Thinking Each Day (Self Care & Self Help Bookshttps://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1952676002?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&psc=1&linkCode=ll1&tag=mrshovland64-20&linkId=81ac5eab62f26cb24eee30fce19ed422&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tlhttps://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1952676002?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&psc=1&linkCode=ll1&tag=mrshovland64-20&linkId=81ac5eab62f26cb24eee30fce19ed422&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl