Marriage Without The Remote (Sometimes)

Now, let me be completely clear, because clarity is important. Just so nobody panics or sends any concerned texts, there is absolutely nothing wrong with watching TV, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with my marriage. We watch and enjoy TV, we have our favorite shows and sports and sometimes TV is just comforting (as long as you are not watching the news 🙄). Sometimes it is just habitual background noise after a long day of navigating your life and being human.

This is not about completely giving up TV, it’s about occasionally realizing that it has been on for so long that you are not sure what you would do without it. Somewhere along the way, the TV became the default. It gets turned on first thing in the morning, it is on while you cook, while you clean, while you eat, while you scroll and while you carry on with your day. This begs the question, if nobody is even paying any attention to it, why is it even on?

Like every other couple, during our first year of marriage, we have developed certain habits without even realizing it. We have routinely watched certain shows or sporting events. Certain seats in the living room became ours. One of us usually reaches for the remote first (usually not me 😂). Not necessarily out of habit, but because that is the rhythm we have developed. At the end of the day, TV becomes less about what we are watching and more about the fact that we are sitting in the room together, spending time together. It’s the background noise to togetherness. Honestly, that can be very comforting and can feel truly intimate.

However, every now and then, I realize how easy it is for the screen to become the center of the evening instead of the backdrop. It’s not because we don’t want to talk or interact, but because we may be tired, we are content, comfortable and frankly, stuck in a bit of a rut. I am not trying to eliminate TV from my marriage. I like TV as much as the next guy, I enjoy unwinding, I love sinking into my comfy chair after a long day and allow something else to hold my attention for awhile. I simply want to turn it off occasionally and really connect with my husband by doing things with more intention and connection and less auto pilot.

Choosing to turn the TV off once in awhile is not a commentary on your relationship, it’s simply an intentional act. It is telling your better half that they matter enough to command your full attention. The very best part is that it is not necessary to do anything particularly impressive, you just need to be there. TV off, phones down. There is more than one type of screen demanding our attention today unfortunately. At this point we may be asking ourselves, if not TV, then what? Here are a few low pressure ways to spend time together that don’t involve a screen or require energy you may not have.

• 💙 Have a conversation without any particular goal in mind. Just wandering talk, memories, random thoughts. “Do you remember when…?” These are the conversations that quietly strengthen a relationship and a marriage.
• 💙 Cook a simple meal together. It needn’t be any thing elaborate or needing fancy ingredients. It’s about spending time together in the kitchen and standing close.
• 💙 Do a puzzle, have some snacks and maybe a drink or 2. This encourages closeness and encourages spontaneous conversation.
• 💙 Take a walk together. No fitness goal required. Just a little movement and conversation without the distraction of a screen.
• 💙 Play a card game or a board game. You can do this briefly if that is your vibe, you don’t have to finish or even keep score if you don’t want to, but a little friendly competition can be fun and encourage some good natured teasing and interaction.
• 💙 Ask each other one good question such as “What are you most looking forward to?” or “Is there anything you are struggling with that I can help you with?” One good question can open up the conversation and can define an entire evening.
• 💙 Turn off the TV, turn on some music and dance.

This post is not about banning the TV or making new rules, it’s about adding moments that matter. Small moments, ordinary moments. The kind of moments that you will remember later.

Most nights, the TV will still be on in our house and that’s perfectly OK.

However, turning it off from time to time can feel like a quiet act of romance. This is not because your marriage needs saving but because your marriage deserves attention. 🧡

You don’t need to overhaul your marriage. You don’t need to spend more money. You don’t need a perfectly planned date night. You just need to turn off the auto pilot once in awhile. Turn off the TV, drop the remote and take a good look at the person you are married to. Give them your undivided attention. That’s where the good stuff is! 🧡

I have linked some fun products below that encourage, fun, connection and togetherness without turning on the TV. Take a look! As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. No additional charge to you! 😊

Clever Fox Bucket List Journal – Inspirational Book for Memories & Adventures – Motivational Bucket List Notebook for Coupleshttps://amzn.to/4q3PgzT

Dance Lessons 101 DVD with Shawn Trautman, The Basics and Beyondhttps://amzn.to/3Zin4xX

Romantic Date Night Cookbook & Unique Ideas for Couples: 100+ Simple and Delicious Cooking for Two Recipes, Games, and Fun Activities to Create the Perfect Intimate Date Nighthttps://amzn.to/4qWAoUx

Life Sutra Couple Reconnect Card Game – 400 Conversation Cards to Build Trust, Deepen Bond & Strengthen Communication – A Therapy Inspired Game for Married & Mature Couples to Reconnecthttps://amzn.to/4qZpptF

Wildflower Puzzles for Adults 1000 Pieces, PICKFORU Vintage Flower Book Puzzle, Wildflower Pages Jigsaw Puzzle for Book Lover, Floral Art Bookshelf Library Puzzleshttps://amzn.to/4pIxL7O